My search or quest began after falling in the deep, dark hole called “motherhood”. Many mothers can agree that you lose your sense of self in this demanding job. I lost any idea of what I liked to do in my free time, because I had none. I wanted to be a mother and a wife, but I was suddenly unhappy in those roles.
I turned to God and instead of praying for others, I begged for help for the first time in my life. I knew I should be happy because my life was full of blessings and health and freedom. What was wrong with me? I was searching for something more and felt I needed to prove my existence by doing something important. But, the opposite happened. When I begged for help, I was given the happiness I desired in the exact place I was.
I was drawn to “Theology of the Body” by Pope John Paul II. I was reminded that man and woman were created in the likeness of God, the Father. I was reminded that Adam was not satisfied until he was given Eve. I was reminded that both man and woman have specific gifts and in their union, amazing things can happen. I was reminded that God gave Adam and Eve a beautiful paradise and they committed their first sin when they ate from the “tree of knowledge of good and evil”. With their free will, they left their “primitive innocence” and journeyed into their “human sinfulness”1.
What peregrination could I take to bring myself closer to God, in the Garden of Eden? I have made several life choices since this journey began.
1. I gave up birth control.
How could I pray for healthy children and then tell God that I had had enough? How selfish was I to say “No, thank you” to the wonderful blessing of life?
2. I started eating cleaner.
Thanks to another great read, “The Science of Skinny” by Dee McCaffrey, I decided to try to eat foods closest to their natural source. Human pride has bastardized the beautiful, nutritious and delicious foods that God gifted us at the beginning of time. Man thinks that it can improve upon an already perfect product, when in actuality, the food that is now produced faster, bigger and lasts longer could be the cause of illness and disease in our society.
3. I started to exercise more frequently.
I was an able-bodied woman, and I needed to be strong for my family. I didn’t want to keep waking up with back aches and little pains. I do not obsess over exercise. I respond to my body’s physical and mental needs and practice yoga, swimming, biking or running a few times a week.
4. I became more confident in the body God gave me.
I made a promise to myself, for the benefit of my children, to be proud of my body, with all of its societal “imperfections”. The more I love my myself, the more love I can show my neighbor.
5. I got naked.
Like Adam and Eve before their original sin, they were naked without shame. It was Heaven on Earth, so why not try to mimic that setting in our own home?
Through this journey back to nature and to my personal happiness, Jack and I are happier in our married lives, have drawn closer to each other and to God and, in my opinion, set a pretty darn good example for our children. If you are unhappy, I urge you to get closer to our origins, to God and to the nature he created.